Making the Future Female

Posts tagged “exams


SHIFTY GRADES OF FEY by Billy Spooner (2012 The Satirical Press) is a hugely readable trilogy based loosely on the life and times of the UK education secretary Michael Gove. In this fast paced story, author Billy Spooner paints a nightmarish picture of a government department gone mad. The protagonist, Mickey Grope, is a demon-worshipping former News International executive that sells his soul to the Devil in the hope of becoming Prime Minister. Clearly the plot owes much to the classic Doctor Faustus, but Spooner kicks this timeless tale smack into the zeitgeist of the postmodern era and will no doubt leave readers clamouring for the next instalment. This is such an important book for so many reasons, and in this reviewer’s opinion, probably the best of its type since Jeffry Archer literally resuscitated the publishing world with his world-changing Cain and Unable.

The plot hinges on the decision of Grope to fiddle with a million school kid’s exam grades. However, unbeknownst to the evil EdSec (surely an allusion to Orwell’s 1984) a coven of white witches has taken over the leadership of the National Union of Teachers (NUTS) and plan to dance sky clad down Whitehall and confront Grope in his dungeon hidden beneath the department offices. Without spoiling the tremendously gripping denouement, suffice it to say the greasy Grope gets his comeuppance when the neo-pagan ladies utilise their magic broomsticks in a manner perhaps best left to the reader’s imagination in a family-oriented publication such as this.

This book will certainly generate massive controversy and conservatives, religious folk and those with a gentle disposition are warned to keep well away, but if you like your fantasy raw and close to the knuckle it’s a rollercoaster read you will return to again and again.

Available now at all good bookshops.

What they’re saying about Shifty Grades of Fey by Billy Spooner

“We can clearly see in Shifty Grades of Fey that there is no bi-univocal correspondence between linear signifying links or archi-writing, depending on the author, and this multireferential, multi-dimensional machinic catalysis. The symmetry of scale, the transversality, the pathic non-discursive character of their expansion: all these dimensions remove us from the logic of the excluded middle and reinforce us in our dismissal of the ontological binarism we criticised previously.”  Postmodernist Psychoanalyst Félix Guattari.

“Pass the Biltong…” Rush Limbaugh

“I laughed until I was wet!” Sarah Palin

“In Shifty Grades of Fey, singularities-events correspond to heterogeneous series which are organized into a system which is neither stable nor unstable, but rather ‘metastable’, endowed with a potential energy wherein the differences between series are distributed… In the second place, singularities possess a process of auto-unification, always mobile and displaced to the extent that a paradoxical element traverses the series and makes them resonate, enveloping the corresponding singular points in a single aleatory point and all the emissions, all dice throws, in a single cast.”  Gilles Deleuze

“Gott in Himmel!” Angela Merkel

“Better than being married to Peter Andre…” Katy Perry

“The meta-narrative of Shifty Grades of Fey is subsumed in the luminal attraction to the association of fluidity with femininity. Whereas men have sex organs that protrude and become rigid, women have openings that leak menstrual blood and vaginal fluids… From this perspective it is no wonder that so-called fiction has not been able to arrive at a successful model for neo-pagan vicissitudes. The lacunae raised in Shifty Grades of Fey cannot be further illuminated because the conceptions of fictions (and of women) have been formulated so as necessarily to leave unarticulated remainders.” Katherine Hayles

“Should make millions!” Books and Bookmen

“I wish I’d written it…” Dan Brown

“This disgusting tome, this depraved story, this worthless piece of junk entitled Shifty Grades of Fey is yet another example of what soon-to-be-ex-President Obama has done to the once proud North American tradition of literary culture and academic learning. When I have the privilege to this lead this great Nation, then this sort of Godless scribbling will be quickly made illegal and those that write, if write is not too strong a word, such garbage will be judged by God Almighty, and surely fade and fall into Eternal Hellfire where they so rightly belong. Amen!” Mitt Romney

“Cor blimey!” Margaret Thatcher

“Perhaps Shifty Grades of Fey should be regarded as a chaotic formation, in which acceleration puts an end to linearity and the turbulence created by acceleration deflects history definitively from its end, just as such turbulence distances effects from their causes.” Richard Dawkins

“Billy’s really gone and done it now..!”  Quentin Jerome Tarantino

“The main theme of Shifty Grades of Fey is sexual identity and the common ground between class and art. Therefore, a number of deappropriations concerning poststructural objectivism may be found.” Stephen Hanfkopf – Dept. of Literature Yale University